and i stumbled onto you as you stumbled over me

so buying a housing for my phone turned into buying a completely new phone. we'll see how it goes. i need to get totally fucking drunk, everasting gaze rant screaming drunk. its funny..both times i've ever been drunk i always end up singing the everlasting rant. word.

sit down. stand up.

im such a pirate

humor me before i have to go

saturday was a comedy of errors. it basically went like this. wake up at 9am to go to the gun range, get in car, car sounds like sewing machine..tick tick tick tick drive to gun range. range hasnt been plowed. car wont make it up hill to rifle range. share a few explitives with manny. go back home to get 4wd truck. load guns into bronco. drive bronco to gun range, unload guns...then remember left bullets in car. share a few mre explitives with manny. go to gun shop and buy over priced bullets...go to range shoot said bullets. pack up and go home.

later that night i go to the bar with jen...some creepy dudes buy us drinks. proceed to watch jen get shit faced and cock cock cock cock. leave jens house and get all emo. txt mickey random things that i dont even remember. go home pass out.

tonight jen and i went to jack creek steak house for some steak lovin. i promised her if she did my taxes id buy her dinner when i got my return. came home to a newly repaired a70 and my ds r4 flash cart. w00t now i just need my memory card.

and now a sample a70 pic 15 sec exp @ f2.8 of jens parents bathroom

let down, hanging around

i feel like crying. i feel like everything i worked for this past year is going to fall apart at any moment. i need to see my therapist, but i dont have the money too. damn it. meh

Transport, motorways and tramlines,
starting and then stopping,
taking off and landing,
the emptiest of feelings,
disappointed people, clinging on to bottles,
and when it comes it's so, so, disappointing.

Let down and hanging around,
crushed like a bug in the ground.
Let down and hanging around.

Shell smashed, juices flowing
wings twitch, legs are going,
don't get sentimental, it always ends up drivel.
One day, I'm gonna grow wings,
a chemical reaction,
hysterical and useless
hysterical and

let down and hanging around,
crushed like a bug in the ground.
Let down and hanging around.

Let down,
Let down,
Let down.

You know, you know where you are with,
you know where you are with,
floor collapsing, falling, bouncing back
and one day, I'm gonna grow wings,
a chemical reaction, [You know where you are,]
hysterical and useless [you know where you are,]
hysterical and [you know where you are,]

let down and hanging around,
crushed like a bug in the ground.
Let down and hanging around.

my babies

theres a gap in between where i end and you begin

im going to join the civilian markmanship program. what it is, is basically a gun club sponsored by the government. they supply the cmp with old surplus rifles from ww2, and its members can buy them super cheap. *but* you have to particpate in a shooting competition to be eligible. it doesnt matter how well you do, as long as you do it.

i want one of these

everyone needs a cause

i had a weird dream the other day. i was driving in a car with john paul, i dont exactly remember why or how. i just remember sitting in the passenger seat looking out the window not knowing where i was. it was an older part of a town, with old strip malls and abandoned stores and what not. it was a particularly colorless and dreary day. we talked about what not, life in general; nothng ground breaking. we came to his apartment, where i sat myself down on old couch. this is where the dream gets fuzzy. the apartment was weird. it was an older house, and had two floors. the steps for the second floor where shared with the apartment next door which i was thought was kind of odd. john paul, why am i dreaming about you?

i dont look in the mirror; i dont like what i see staring back at me

typical week at work. not good, not bad. still working away at beating ff6 im about 4 hours in now. i finally got everything to get my mac working. its really just a novelty right now, as i cant do much with os 9. meh im so bored and confused and scared about some things. meepys making weird noises heh. in a minute im going to go eat another cold slice of pizza and wonder what went wrong with life


I'm good enough, but I don't care
I'm good enough, but I'm not there
I'm good enough, but I don't care
The sun is out, but I'm not there

how i love thee tacobell

saferjohn (10:46:15 PM): can i have a taco?
foof in transit (10:46:53 PM): sdf
foof in transit (10:46:57 PM): goodnight
saferjohn (10:47:07 PM): cause the ones i bought are leaking out my ass

it just feels like spinning plates

oh wait, what?!

procrasstination, yep thats me. i dont want to go bed, i dont want to go to work tomorrow. i dont want to do anything. im going to go to work, and im going to feel worthless...because thats what going there makes me feel. i enjoyed my job when it was strictly awswering phones. not processing orders, not doing rmas, not issuing credits. its funny to think i've almost been at this job a year. goddamnit i want something else.

pretty penny was her name

this weekend wasnt really productive, or was it? i started talking to mickey again, which is prolly for the best. its nice to talk to her about erroneous things. shes great for laying on and is rather comfortable. in other news i bought final fantasy 6 for the game boy advance. i've sworn to myself i'll beat it. im about two hours in right now. im in the returners cave. i finished up my tax return papers and sent out the signature thing, so now i just wait on my cash. i also watched flags of our fathers which i thought was pretty well done. manny complained there was enough
"jap shooting". i feel sorry for the soldiers in iraq, no ones going to look back on them as people look back on the soldiers of ww2.

And spaceboy I've missed you
Spinning round my head
And any way you choose me
You'll break instead

Watch me
Death defy
Defile my life

I don't need
I don't care
Please

I want to go home
I want to go home
I want to go home
I want to go home
'cause when a lover aches
That's when a lover breaks
I want to go home
I want to go home

And spaceboy they'll kill me
Before I'm dead and gone
And any way you choose me
It won't be wrong
And anyway you choose me
We won't belong

We won't belong
We won't belong
We won't belong
We won't belong
We won't belong

In this world are many like me who've killed their emotions. Don't forget that.

a rebel with a heart of gold

so when i get my income tax refund im not sure what i want to do with it. i can upgrade the bronco one of two ways, get something else, or fix it up a little. i want something that goes vroom so i can go drag racing. broncos and buggies of the like dont go vroom. i'd like either a mustang or camaro/firebird, which can be had rather cheap and go vroom on the cheap too. but i dont know. live for yourself or live within reason? meh

Slackerbitch, faghag, whore
Looks real cute, her lips are sore
Slackerbitch, faghag, whore
Always knocking on my door

You come across impure
I didnt mean it
Youre goddamn immature
I didnt mean it
You act so insecure
I didnt mean it
You hate me now Im sure
I didnt mean it

I want to see you smile again
Like diamonds in the dust
The amazing sound of the killing hordes
The day the banks collapse on us
Cease this endless chattering
Like everything is fine
When sorry is not good enough
Sit in the back while no-one drives

So glad you're mine

ssssshhhhhhh

lol at that thing i saw. lol

work shitty as usual

you're a liar A LIAR

i had my first truly angry customer today. it was amusing. really the only thing i can say about the lady was she was a typical aol user. i was just like "im sorry you're upset, but this really isnt a big of a deal as your making it" basically some of cingulars online orders are flagged for idenity verification. our sup says they're randomly picked but they're not. usually they're flagged because the end user is having them shipped to a different address then the billing address. some of the time they're flagged because the end user will put their nick name instead of their full legal name ie rich smith instead of richard smith. well this lady's order was flagged because of the shipping address. she took the test and passed it. then she said she wanted to cancel the order because cingular sucks, my job isnt to save customers so i was like sure whatever you want mam. then she was like well maybe i dont want to cancel it, i dont know...when she saw i didnt care if she canceled or not, she went into this whole thing about getting a deal on the phones. she was like can you give me this deal? i giggled and was like no, but i can cancel your order. she got so enraged with me she hung up. then i left her order in pend status because she never actually confirmed she wanted the phones bitch :0)

i miss the comfort in being sad

work, why have you forsaken me?

typical monday at work. took a ton of verify calls. work sucks as usual sometimes i just want to take my stapler and throw it at someone. then i start to think...why in the fuck do i have a stapler? i dont deal with paper on daily basis, i dont print things, hell they rarely give us any handouts. actually the story behind my stapler is i dug it out of the trash...awhile back they were cleaning out a closet at work and in the trash bin was a perfect stapler half full of staples. i had to take it for my own. for the past three monthes this stapler has sat proudly under my monitor. it hasnt stapled a piece of paper once in my possession. it just sits there in all its swingline 747 glory. i wish i were that stapler.

so horrid to see you again

this will be attempt number 2 at creating a blog. im lazy when it comes to crap like this. i've been thinking about creating a photoblog for a while, but as i said im lazy. we'll see what happens. as of late i've been buying craptacular old school digital cameras. maybe one day they'll take over the world? maybe not. well the mavica might if the floppy can make a comeback. i have a knack for old electonics and computers, i also recently bought a blue and white power mac g3. maybe jen was right in being worried with me.