work, why have you forsaken me?

typical monday at work. took a ton of verify calls. work sucks as usual sometimes i just want to take my stapler and throw it at someone. then i start to think...why in the fuck do i have a stapler? i dont deal with paper on daily basis, i dont print things, hell they rarely give us any handouts. actually the story behind my stapler is i dug it out of the trash...awhile back they were cleaning out a closet at work and in the trash bin was a perfect stapler half full of staples. i had to take it for my own. for the past three monthes this stapler has sat proudly under my monitor. it hasnt stapled a piece of paper once in my possession. it just sits there in all its swingline 747 glory. i wish i were that stapler.