incest post offices and clam chowder

so yea thats the gist of my weekend. something isnt making a connection in my head...something is being blocked out. seeing somethings just disgust me. seeing a lot of things disgusts me. meh this entry is being forced..i wish i could vent about a lot of things. but i cant step on any toes. i need a hobbie err a hobby.

welcome no where fast
nothing here ever lasts
nothing but memories

living makes me sick
so sick i wish i'd die

i wonder if getting help for my depression early in life would have made things go differently. would i have actually married brandy? i wonder what my relationship with my parents would have been like...ehh what if? fig newtons.

i really should be getting ready for bed and finishing my laundry. but instead, i'd rather write the same old emo'esque shit i've written time after time. whats the point of holding on to these shitty memories. shitty memories of a past life where things where much worse then they are now. but yet i cant bring myself to be any happier now then i was then.

emo'esque

things i once thought unbelievable have all taken place

/emo

boredom's in the bathroom shaking out the loose teeth

staring at a blank text box. laying in a cold bed. wondering why im up at 7am. ahh being awake when the sun comes up. i remember many days starting like this. waking up being emotionally distraught, going and eating breakfast with my mom at the diner. going home trying not to sleep, because sleeping alone sucked. well it sucked when brandy had left me. i just remember laying in bed, feeling this horrible sadness. i dont know whats bringing on this emo rubbish, but its just flowing out.

oh, and on another subject...highshool much?

nobody nowhere understands anything
about me and all my dreams